It's been awhile since I have written, so I thought I would check in. Truth is, life is still full of ups and downs. And while those ups and downs keep me busy, I've got to admit, they are minimal compared to what the ups and downs were last year around this time.
I think back to this time last year. When I literally felt like I was on the brink of death. You can read about that experience here: http://www.blessingsandbrca.blogspot.com/2015/03/an-exorcism-of-sorts.html
Still blessed. Still feeling strong. Trying hard to hold on to the perspective change that a cancer diagnosis brought. While we want our normal back, the truth is I don't want all of my normal back. I love the perspective we gained during our struggle: that most things in life don't matter. That disappointment is relative. Hardship is relative. Every single day we feel healthy is an absolute gift.
Honestly, as time passes, I find that perspective of just being grateful for the simple things is waning. The high of beating cancer doesn't feel as triumphant any more. I miss that high.
So, I'm searching. I'm working on weeding out things in my life that don't draw me closer to that high... That includes time spent on social media and honestly, some friendships. I'm trying to invest more in things that make me feel good: spending time in the morning with a devotional and reading the Word. Loving the sound of Mason singing the Star Wars theme from his room as I type this. Running. Being outside and feeling sunshine on my face. Being intentional about time with friends. Just being intentional. About anything. Work. Naps. Cleaning. Food. Coffee. Finding joy in being in the moment of whatever I am doing.
Keep on, keeping on, friends.
rosie@mail.postmanllc.net
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