I'm thinking about the Survivors lap. Seems so surreal to call myself a Survivor. The word is so empowering. It takes my breath away. 8 months ago, I didn't even know I had cancer. And today I can say I beat it. As my friend Carrie so eloquently put it: Gotcha Bitch!
I'm thinking about the Caregivers lap and it brings tear to my eyes. A few shout outs to my peeps:
God: Who gave me strength when I didn't have any more to give. Who loves me, despite my potty-mouth and the avalanche of sins I commit every day. Who's presence I felt in my darkest hour.
My sister, Jill: Taking an hour worth of selfies with me in the hospital because she looked better than me (I of course don't remember doing this at all, but I believe her when she tells me the story). And the time I convinced her that it would make me feel better if she shaved her head, too (of course I was kidding, but I had her going there for about 45 minutes). Who showed up before and after surgeries even though I know it was hard for her to see me like that.
My mother-in-law, Val: Who was there when I got the cancer call. She just gave me and Richard a long, silent hug. It was exactly what we needed in that moment. She also cheered for me when I had my first post-surgery poo. For anyone who's had surgery and been on pain meds, you know that's a big deal! Kept my house together at a time when Richard and I were falling apart.
My mom, Donna: When I called to tell her the news, she was driving. I told her in the happiest voice I could muster to call me when she got home. She demanded that I immediately tell her what was wrong. Drove me to the salon when I had to shave my head. Held my hand during my sick days, even when I slept. Woke up with me at 2am to eat ice cream and cereal because I couldn't sleep. Rubbed my shoulders when the bone aches were just too much. Supported my crazy ideas when I was on a steroid high. My family for supporting me with thoughts, prayers and phone calls when they couldn't physically be there.
My friends: Who showered me with love, encouragement, prayer, meals, gifts, chemo parties, new boob parties, made me laugh and listened to me cry. Who walked miles in the rain for me. My friend Natalie even shaved her head in support of me. Who does that?
Mason: Who accepted me with my new 'haircut', always gently hugged me, was patient and content sitting around the house when I didn't feel well enough to be a interactive mom, let me nap when needed, made me laugh. He doesn't know it, but he sacrificed a lot the past 8 months. He's the reason why I kept fighting when things got tough.
Richard: Who has been with me every step of the way. Telling me I was beautiful, even when I didn't feel beautiful. Made sure I rested and did whatever I needed to take care of myself. Accompanied me on every single appointment. Was 'mom' and 'dad' when I didn't have the energy to be Mom. Assured me everything was going to be okay. Prayed. Played worship and rap music before an appointment to pump me up. Sat through hundreds of hours of chemo and appointments. Made me laugh and held me when I cried. Sometimes would even cry with me. Remind me that all that matters is the little family we created.
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