My Feelings About Pink

It's October.  In case you are blind or live in a cave (which would make reading a blog difficult) there is pink everywhere for breast cancer awareness month.  Pink cereal, t-shirts, water bottles, panties, mens boxers, NFL referee whistles.  There are cute, clever saying: Save the Tata's, Saving Second Base, Check Your Rack, Save the Girls, etc.  Breast cancer awareness feels incredible trendy and a great excuse to talk about boobs.  The merchandise is cute, pink, girlie, sparkly.  And I love that awareness is being brought to the cause.

I'm reminded of when I had my mastectomy, Richard showed up wearing a pink t-shirt.  I hadn't been diagnosed with cancer yet, but I remember laying in the hospital and seeing him walk in wearing that bright pink shirt.  He looked incredibly handsome.  It was his way of supporting the difficult decision I made to mutilate my body protect myself.

With that said, I have a bone to pick with all the pink.  Cancer is a bitch.  It's not all pink/sparkly/funny.  I suspect the nice, pink message is helpful because if they showed what breast cancer really looked like it would scare people.  It's lonely.  It mutilates your body.  Weeks after surgery, you literally have tubes hanging off of you like tentacles that collect blood, puss, and something stringy (I never did figure out what that was).  If you are lucky enough to keep your nipples, they turn black.  You new boobs, look perky on the outside, but there are scars and they are constantly cold (there is no body fat or tissue to keep them warm).  Chemo is ridiculously harsh: mouth sores, sweating, diarrhea, thrush, vomiting, nose bleeds, incontinence (that's when you shit yourself), weight gain, nails falling off.  I was lucky enough to not have to have radiation, but I know with that can come serious burns.  Those are just the physical effects of cancer, which are actually much better compared to the emotional and mental effects of cancer.  None of it is a pretty picture ~ and it certainly can't be wrapped up and tied with a pretty pink bow.

Again, I don't at all mean to discount the awareness that all the pink brings.  I love that women are encouraged to do self breast exams and mobile mammography units are parked outside of workplaces.  However, the cynical part of me, wonders how much does do pink merchandise sales actually go towards breast cancer prevention/treatment and how much of it is a marketing ploy to get you to buy something pink so you feel good, thinking you are helping a cause, when in actuality you are just getting duped into buying a pink trinket that you really don't need.  While I am absolutely sure the intentions started out very pure, it irritates me that some companies are likely using pink to promote their supposed support of breast cancer as a cover up to just get you to buy more stuff.

Signed,

Cynical Julie