Okay, I just feel the need to warn you that this post may contain a bit of over-sharing. But, lucky for you I am drawing the line at showing disgusting pictures of myself
for now, because trust me, I have them. I've always been an over-sharer. I don't typically get embarrassed easily and I wouldn't consider myself very modest. What little modesty I did have totally went out the window
after 3 beers with the whole breast cancer thing.
You probably think "Pink is the New Black" is about all the pink breast cancer goodies I have gotten along the way. While I am incredibly appreciative of those gifts, you'd be wrong. Today we are going talk about... Ready for this? Nipples. Go ahead and say it. Nipples. Did you smile? It's okay, it's one of Mason's favorite words, too.
I've probably shown my boobs more legitimate times in the past 3 months than I did during my 4 years of college. I'm flat out
(flat, get it?) completely comfortable with doctors
or really anyone else looking and touching my breasts now. Not only have I been desensitized to their exposure socially and mentally, but since they are nearly completely numb I don't even have the physical sensation that I am being exposed. For example, the other day I was eating a cookie my friend Brooke brought over and I look down and notice a big piece had fallen on my boob. My first thought was "Yay, more cookie for me!" but my second thought was that it was strange to find a piece of cookie there and have been clueless. How long had it been there? Could anyone else see it? So, I ate my new found treasure and went on my way...
I had a nipple sparing mastectomy, meaning I got to keep my nipples. Since my mastectomy was done with prophylactic intentions, I was willing to take the 1% risk increase of cancer to keep my nipples. Once I received my breast cancer diagnosis, I asked my surgeon if he thought I should have my nipples removed during future surgery and he said it wasn't at all medically necessary. For women who do choose to keep their nipples, I believe they actually take a small shaving of the internal nipple tissue during the mastectomy to test for any gnarly cells just to be safe. For women who do have their nipples taken during the mastectomy, there are several reconstruction options: they can actually grow a nipple, like Frankenstein of something, or women often opt for tattoo options of either a realistic looking nipple, or something artistic
like tassels.
Okay, I'll get to the over-sharing part because I know that is the only reason you have spent the last 2 minutes reading about nipples: Today I noticed my nipples were completely pink again, opposed to the black they had been for the past 6 weeks. It was scary. Remember the story where they scared Mason? If not you can read it by clicking
here. Basically, your nipples (not mine anymore) have a rich supply of blood and nerves fed to them, that is why they are so sensitive. So much tissue is removed during the mastectomy that it really reduces the blood supply to your nipples and necrosis (when you skin dies) often occurs. It didn't hurt, it just turned into basically a giant scab. Well, recently the scab has fallen off to reveal beautiful, pink nipples! This bit of normalcy was very welcome after a month that has been anything but normal.
Congrats on your freshly pink nipples!—and I can safely say that I have never typed those words before.
ReplyDeleteKnowing the chemical ordeal that is your life right now, I hesitate to pass on the big news that I have been officially taken off my cancer drug as of yesterday's Doc visit. NO-MORE-FEMARA-------YAY! All goes well on the flat chest scene here. Was great wearing sexy-colored 'training bras' under shear bouses in the Caribbean ;)
You hang in there sweet girl, and I love your baldy-look a LOT.
God is good.
You are precious & priceless! LOVE YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR! I remember my cousin going through double mastectomy & all the decisions...all the laughter & surprise-not too may tears. I am amazed w/such warrior & brave attitude of all breast cancer &other cancer fighters. KNOW you & "sis" are loved, cared for & surrounded by the prayers of so many. Your humor is such a gift as you battle! Take care of YOU as you care for your family. Hugs-love-prayers from me to you;) Bonnie Peirce-Mattes p.s.-I ALWAYS smile when seeing you or your sis's photo...& smile w/fun memores of you both in Elem. P.E.
ReplyDeleteI am so thrilled at every moment of normalcy you are given during this totally not-normal time. And certainly glad you didn't choose tassles as I fear they just wouldn't have been "you". I love your open conversation, your ability to find humor and I sincerely celebrate your healthy pink nipples! God is with you and I sense He is with us all, through you.
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