The Cut: Take One

For awhile I was thinking I should cut my hair...  I know I'm going to lose it.  But one of my biggest fears (aside from actually losing my hair) is that Mason wouldn't react well to me and my big ole, white, bald noggin.

Growing up my dad had a mustache.  I remember when he shaved it off.  I didn't like it.  I knew was pretty sure he was still my dad, but he didn't look like my dad.  It was almost scary and it took several days for me to get used to his new look.  I just don't want Mase to be scared of me.  I know it's going to be a shock to all of us when I lose my hair, but we are adults and can comprehend that it's just hair; he's four.  He refuses to eat pizza if it is cut in squares instead of triangles.  

A few days ago, my sweet friend/hairdresser Brittany messaged me to tell me we should play around a bit with my hair.  She owns Head Case Hair Lounge.  Richard said the same thing.  So, this morning I decided to pay her a visit for round one.  I suspect 2-3 weeks from now I won't have hair, but I wanted to start the transition now.  Really, how often do you get the chance to do anything to your hair?  I've always had long hair, and I know that going from long hair to no hair was going to be drastic.  

I wasn't sure how I would feel at today's appointment.  I had mentioned to several friends that I was going in for 'the cut.'  Several even offered to go with me.  While I LOVED that they offered to be there, I politely declined, as I wasn't sure what the day would hold.  I wanted to be able to do me - whether that be crying, anger, laughing...  

Brittany greeted me with a big hug, I sat in her chair and we got started.  She grabbed my long, think, blonde hair in one hand and *snip, snip, snip, snip*.  In one pass of her scissors, she probably took off over a foot of hair.  I remember the sound of those shears cutting my hair so vividly.  It was scary. And liberating.  Shit!  This is really happening!  Brittany continued to slowly cut my hair shorter and shorter.  While I thought I would be sad, we laughed and joked throughout the entire experience.  After a highlight and a small pink stripe she styled it and WOW!  I love it!  Honestly, I'm disappointed that I only get to keep it for a couple of weeks.  

I was a bit worried with Mase's reaction to my new 'do.  We have been talking to him for the past couple of weeks that mom's hair was going to be going through some silly changes... And that eventually her hair would look like Uncle Jack's and Papa Jack's hair.  When he saw my hair he told me that it looked funny and that it was awesome.  Music. To. My. Ears.  Big sigh of relief there... One cut down, one more to go.  

This experience could have been really traumatic.  Instead it was fun, relaxing and heartwarming.  So blessed that I was able to go to a friend who was ready to support me no matter how I felt or reacted to the situation.  I didn't feel the need to smile if I wanted to cry, I just got to be me... and smiled through the entire thing!  Thank you sweet friend!  

Thank you sweet Brittany for my new 'do!