An Update

Just thought I would share a quick update...

To be honest, a few days ago, I was really down.  Cancer is hard (okay, that is a massive understatement), but you know what else is hard?  Transitioning back to "normal" - whatever that is.

I really looked forward to my exchange surgery, where the take out the rock hard, uncomfortable tissue expanders and put in soft, round implants - while I still have treatments, in the breast cancer and tissue expander world, the exchange surgery is often viewed as crossing the finish line.  I thought I would come out of the surgery skipping (okay not really skipping, as exercise isn't encouraged yet) and euphoric.  I mean after all I had been through, it was going to end with perky breasts, right?  What girl doesn't want perky, youthful breasts?

Well, I got perky, youthful breasts (my husband even called them a 10, minus the black-blue-yellow-greenish bruising).  And guess what: I still had a bout of depression after my surgery.  For so long Richard and I have had to FIGHT for my life.  Now what?  It's certainly a blessing, but an odd feeling none the less.  The depression has passed.  For now.  I suspect it may come back...  And that's okay; I've been through a personal war.  (Side note: I would imagine this is something similar to what our veterans face, although obviously on a different scale... it's not easy.  Thank you for all of you who have served!).

Okay, so for some good news:

• My pathology came back from my exchange surgery all clean!  If you didn't know that they were sending more tissue off to pathology after my exchange, join the club.  I didn't either.  I knew my surgeon was going to shave a bit more off my chest muscle to help create a bigger margin, as one was very close.  Blissfully stupid of me, It hadn't even dawned on me that there was a chance the cancer could still be present in my body.  The surgeon told Mom and Richard that he was sending it off to be checked and apparently they decided it was best not to tell me that.  Well played, you two.  They knew the results were going to come in a week and wanted to spare me the week of worry.  I damn near cried when the nurse announced my pathology was clear: both because I was oblivious obviously relieved and also because Richard and my mom choose to keep that burden to themselves, and protect me from it.  Thank you.  
• My energy keeps improving.  We stay very busy with playdates and shuffling around town to school and soccer practice.  The beautiful weather helps, too.  
• Hair is starting to come back everywhere.  I even had to shave the other day (I haven't done that in months and gotta say didn't miss it one bit!).  I am getting a hair line; Think a man's 5 o'clock shadow, but on my head.
• Eye lashes are also growing back, and not just a few, a whole row of them.  Right now they are about a millimeter long, but it's a start!  
• After some inspiration from some great friends, I've really tried to clean up my eating.  So far, I've lost 4 lbs! 
• My breasts...  They are a 100% fake, but they aren't trying to kill me.  And, as a bonus they are  90% fabulous (Richard would probably even rate them higher), even more amazing considering what they have been through.  They will take some time to get used to.  It takes months for them to 'drop and fluff' and do their thing.  But, my surgeon did an AMAZING job!  Ya'll ~ I had the DREAM TEAM of medical professionals!  If you are in the Springfield, Missouri area and need recommendations, please hit me up!!!  These guys are a amazing!  (Side note: Richard tells me he's seen a lot of breasts and felt an undisclosed number of them, so he's pretty much has an expert opinion).  

Off to enjoy the beautiful day...  Gentle hugs everyone (oh, hugs are way better without those blasted expanders, too!).