An Update: Body Hair, Barf, Boobs, and a Bear

Sorry it's been awhile since I've posted... I've been busy LIVING!  Life is good...  Nope, it's GREAT!

A few observations I've had these past couple of weeks:

1.  My hair (everywhere!) is really starting to come back!  Richard tells me there's a lot of gray, but that's okay because there's hair color for that.  He said I no longer look like a cancer patient, just like someone who shaved my head (Thanks?! I think??).  Now, if only the hair on my head would grow as quickly as the hair everywhere else (TMI?).  Time to invest in some razors... and perhaps some laser hair removal.

2.  I've really been trying to focus on getting healthy... Walking a lot and watching my diet.  I gained nearly 25lbs. the past 8 months and would love to shed some of the weight.  I've been at it over a month with walking almost non-stop all day.  I typically walk between 8-10 miles a day (I know this thanks to my trusty Apple watch) and I've lost a total of 2lbs.  WTF?  I have put on some muscle, which is good.  You lose a lot of muscle when you lay around for 6 months.  Anyway, I'll keep trucking away at it.  Really trying to adopt the mindset that I'm doing all I can do and let the results fall where they may.  I used to be able to drop weight pretty easily and I've never worked this hard at it and had such dismal results.  Perhaps it is my gaining muscle?  Or the hormone shit-storm my body has endured?  I'm not sure... I'll keep plugging away though.

3.  The other day I did get a kick in the pants ~ God has a way of doing that to us, you know?  I was getting my Herceptian treatment and the poor woman next to me was vomiting.  Like, nearly the entire time.  Here I am complaining about my weight gain (which I did to myself!) and this woman can't hold anything down.  After I threw my half eaten lunch away and did some breathing exercises to keep myself from vomiting, tears started to flow down my cheeks.  This woman was fighting for her life against this stupid f'n disease and as if just fighting and surviving wasn't enough, she had to deal with the vomiting on top of it.  It's so unfair.  Cancer sure is a bitch.  Her name was Mary.  I so badly wanted to comfort her but also wanted to give her some privacy (by the way, there is almost no privacy in the infusion room).  Take a moment to say a prayer for Mary.

4.  Speaking of the infusion room:  Most of you have probably never seen an infusion room, and to those of you who have, I'm sorry.  The infusion room isn't much to look at ~ about 20 recliners lined up against a wall of windows, each with an IV pole on one side and a chair for a guest on the other.  But, I want to tell you (at least in my experience) what an infusion room feels like.  Some days I walk in and it feels very sad.  There are some very old patients in very rough shape.  I shutter to think that these folks don't have much time left and they are spending it like this.  (I've got to be honest, if it were me later in life, I think I might just throw in the towel.)  But for the most part, it feels like family.  Weird, huh?  Everyone is there for the same reason ~ while we have different diagnosis we all have heard those dreaded words that make you literally go weak in the knees: "You have cancer."  There is no judgement about your hair or your dress.  No judgement about your weight or even your attitude.  Everyone in that room is fighting a battle.  Admittedly, most battles are worse than mine.  So, while we are all there for treatment, nearly every person I've met there (and you meet a lot of people when your treatment lasts for 6+ hours) is encouraging, kind, and empathetic (and some poor souls are vomiting, but that's besides the point).

5.  Okay, I know some of you read this just to keep up with my legendary boobs (kidding!).  So, here's an update:  They look fantastic and like they did 10 years ago, pre-Mason.  To you, they would feel soft and squishy, to me they feel... well like nothing.  Still absolutely no feeling in them (I've told my friends to let me know if I have a nipple exposed at the pool, as I wouldn't even know!).
I've been given the all clear to start running, which has taken away all motivation to actually run (funny how that works, huh?).  Seriously, it's amazing what they've been through, sliced apart, gutted, filled, stuffed and then put back together again.  It wasn't an easy process.  In fact, the mastectomy was probably the hardest thing I've had to endure in my life.  Not an easy process.  Shout out to my sister, my mom, and any of my readers who have endured the surgery.  Wear those battle wounds with pride!

6.  While I was at treatment trying not to join Mary in yaking, my boys had "Guy Time" which ended with a $75 Build-A-Bear.  Mercy!  Good thing my boys are cute!