Missed Opportunities

Ugh... Cycle #5 really took it out of me.  I'm exhausted.

My sister called me at least 6 times and I couldn't even muster the energy to answer her call, even though I know she was just calling to check on me.

Same goes for my mom.  I know she's been worried about me, but has already told me she's not going to call me, as she doesn't want to bother me if I'm resting.  I know I'm the one that should be calling her, so I chose to let her worry than to take the 2 minutes to call her and check in.

One friend has had her 2 month old baby boy in the hospital for nearly a week.  I so badly wanted to offer to help, but just couldn't even commit the energy to call and offer, let alone follow though on any commitments.

Another friend of mine, who I consider one of my closest friends here, had sick twins at home.  I so badly wanted to deliver her a Starbucks and tell her to go take a walk around Target while I watched the boys, but I didn't have the energy to do so and I couldn't risk getting sick myself.

A different friend called (you know it must be serious when someone tries to call you instead of text, right?!) to discuss some health issues she's having and I couldn't even answer the phone.  This gal has made me laugh when I really needed to, and I wasn't able to be there for her.

One more friend just delivered a 9lb 4oz baby naturally.  She surprised me once by coming over during my chemo treatment and cleaning my house.  I desperately wanted to return the favor, but I cannot even get it together to get dressed and leave the house.

My husband, who has been nothing but loving and patient with me, deserves the best romantic, Valentine's weekend ever.  Instead, he got up with Mase at 7:30 and let me sleep until 9:30.  I'm a grown-ass woman ~ not sure I have slept in until 9:30 in the past decade.

My sweet boy just wanted me to play an iPad game with him and build Lego towers.  And I told him mommy was tired and went and laid in bed.

So many missed opportunities ~ opportunities to bless all these people just the way that each of them have blessed me during my trials.  Not cool, cancer.  Not cool.