But, then I went on a walk (my first 'purposeful' exercise since my hysterectomy two weeks ago) with a trusted friend who shared about some of her daughter's medical procedures. And, I ran into another friend who has to take her son to an inpatient hospital procedure tomorrow. It was a good reminder, no matter how anxious I feel, my anxiety would be 100 times worse if it were Mase going through health struggles. Prayers for these strong mamas! No matter how tough this journey gets, it's always a blessing to remember my kiddo is healthy!
I also had a nice conversation with my mom today. There are so many decisions to make; so many doubts to ponder. I came to the conclusion, that no matter what happens, everything has a way of working out. Maybe I go through these surgeries and I would have been in the lucky pool and have never gotten cancer... It will still work out. Or, maybe I don't go through the mastectomy and I will later develop cancer... It will still work out. Things always have a way of working out.
During my fit of anxious energy this morning, I decided to look for a study pillow. I've seen several ladies on a prophylactic mastectomy website comment how helpful they were during recovery. So, off I went to Bed Bath and Beyond. I was so relieved when I found one. On clearance! It didn't dawn on me until I got home, but the only color on clearance was teal. Teal is one of the colors for the BRCA awareness ribbon. I've mentioned it before, but my mom calls these types of things God Winks. Some people call them coincidences, but we believe that the universe is too big for coincidences... I like to believe this is God's way of showing himself. Some may see this as hokey/cheesy/corny WHATEVER! I see it as a gentle sign that He is with me on this journey. I'll take it! Along with my $11 teal study pillow. Oh... and it just happens to be National Hereditary Breast & Ovarian Cancer Week.
 |
And now I'm crying. But they are happy tears... Stupid hormones.
No comments:
Post a Comment