Yikes! **It's Getting Real!

The good news, I've been keeping extremely busy lately.  Between work, planning Mason's birthday party and getting things cleaned and organized before surgery on Wednesday, I haven't even had time to think about my hysterectomy.  Okay, that was a lie.  I have thought about it, but for the most part, I've done really well on not dwelling on it.

Today, was actually another busy day, as we went to Springfield to meet with another surgeon, this one a breast surgeon who will be performing the mastectomy.  The appointment couldn't have come at a better time, because just a few days ago, I found a pretty big lump in my breast.  I had a mammogram about 2 weeks ago and all came back clear, so I wasn't sure what this was all about.  It started about a week ago and I discovered it around 3:30 am.  I quickly woke Richard up and asked him to feel my breast and quickly added that it wasn't *that kind of wake up call*.  Honestly, I felt like I was going crazy and just needed a quick confirmation that it wasn't all in my head.  Sure enough, he felt it too... And, we aren't talking about a tiny grain of rice here, this thing is probably a good centimeter or bigger!  Anyway, I pushed through with the week and Mase's birthday party since I knew I had an appointment with a breast surgeon anyway.  Yes, I thought about the lump, but again I didn't obsess over it...  Which again, is BIG progress for my bat-shit crazy myself.

Quick story:  As we are walking into my appointment, I start getting a bit anxious.  Richard must have read it on my face.  He didn't say anything, but he took out his phone, turned on some Eminen and told me to get some swagger in my step.  I tried to walk with swagger, but failed miserably.  He grabbed my hand and we both had a good laugh as we walked into the office.  All those old people must have thought we were crazy!  I love him so darn much it hurts!

Today's appointment was with Dr. Buchner (DBB) and we went over the mastectomy options and he gave me an exam.  He, too, could feel the lump, but wasn't overly concerned since I just had a clean mammogram and was going to be getting rid of all my breast tissue soon anyway.  Otherwise, he said it was something they would probably biopsy and possibly remove just to be safe.  Hey, I love a deal, so this is sort of like a two-fer ~ I get to get rid of all the breast tissue that could potentially kill me and this silly lump, that occasionally hurts.

So, after the exam and a few questions from the hubs and myself, DBB suggested a surgery date.  What the %&*#?  The suggestion that we should schedule the surgery soon hit me like a ton of bricks.  Once again, things were getting real REAL fast.  Of course, I have the option to wait, but he encouraged me to not wait too long, as messing with your hormones and taking replacement hormones isn't really a great option for mutated special awesome women like myself who are likely prone to develop breast cancer anyway.  So, if it needs to happen soon anyway, we might as well schedule it this calendar year since I'm going to max out my insurance anyway, right (again, always looking for a great deal!)?

Chilling as I wait for Dr. Buchner.
I don't even get nervous anymore.  This is probably where my brother-in-law Jack and Richard cracks a joke about all the practice I've had taking my top off in my 'hay day.'  Just remember Richard, those jokes hurt you a lot more than they hurt me.  

So, hysterectomy is scheduled in just a few days and the double mastectomy is scheduled mid-October.  Hey, my boobs can dress up as Frankenstein for Halloween.  Very old, saggy Frankensteins.    Speaking of freaky, DBB did warn me that I will likely be shocked when I wake from surgery.  He said I will likely have about 1/3 the breast size I do now and they will not really resemble anything like they are now (and, not to brag, but I have pretty spectacular breasts now ~ although not quite as spectacular as they were pre-Mason or in my twenties...).

Come to think of it, my breasts will be going out of this world the same way they came into this world... Fast.  I guess I'll save that experience for a future post.

Anyway, while all these surgeries and recovery times get me a bit anxious, it feels really good to 'check the boxes'.  It feels productive, which sure beats the hell out of the waiting game!