"I'm numb... which ironically is how my breasts will feel once all this is over."

I feel like I should write a post since I'm going in for my mastectomy tomorrow.  Truth is, I can't come up with anything positive, profound, funny, sappy or sad to write.  I'm numb... Which ironically is how my breasts will feel once all this is all over.  Much of the nerves are severed and removed during the mastectomy.

So many of my feelings off-set each other:

• Yes, this is a big deal, but it's not exactly a crisis.  
• Yes, I'm nervous for the procedure, but I'm also excited that lump will be gone.
• Yes, I fear my body will look deformed, but I am hopeful that once the reconstruction is over I will be pleased with the result.  
• Yes, this BRCA thing sucks, but it's also such a blessing to have this warning.
• Yes, the recovery will be very tough, but not nearly as tough as cancer.  

I read the following quote from a fellow BRCA sister who said this about a mastectomy: It's a hard decision to make, but not a difficult one.  

"It's a hard decision to make, but not a difficult one."
THIS is why it isn't difficult.